Grading: Coveting, Pride and Perseverence

Kim Taylor sensei sent me this link very shortly after I recently failed my first attempt at fifth dan in iaido.
http://social-issues.org/community/node/255
It is interesting and worth reflecting on.
It is also brief, and in its briefness runs the risk of simplifying what it is to persevere with iaido, versus persevering with standardization and gradings. I believe that the two, although complexly connected, do not need to be in order for one to persevere with iaido.

Persevering in iaido does not require one to grade.
My dear friend, Nobushima san, has been practicing Iaido in the Koganei Iaido Group in Tokyo, Japan for more than twenty years. Our sensei is Yamamoto, Shotaro and his sensei was Mitsuzuka, Takeshi, and so forth goes our lineage. This lineage is quite direct to some of the more infamous sources of modern swordsmanship, including the standardized forms of the All Japan Kendo Federation. Training with Yamamoto sensei is an experience close to the primary sources of modern iaido. Despite 20 years of training close to this source, Nobushima san has never graded. He is opposed to gradings. He is also an excellent technician in iaido, and his knowledge of the sword and Japanese culture and history, continues to amaze me to this day. I always learn something new from our ongoing correspondence. I suggest that Nobushima san defines perseverence in iaido. I suggest that he surpasses it in his steadfast position on standardization and gradings and unswerving loyalty to Yamamoto sensei and his teachings.
I will not grade again in iaido until I find the humility to fully submit to the wishes of the Canadian sensei. My grading failure was a failure of pride, I believe. Technically, I believe I was at a fifth dan level for Canadian Iai. Also, my contribution to Iaido in the CKF, in the local region of Calgary through our club events, volunteering, summer seminars, and article writing is appropriate, I believe. But I fail on giving up fully to the Canadian and visiting sensei. I respect them deeply. I listen to them when they advise, but I do not submit fully. I do not submit fully because there are fundamentals of iai I have been given by Yamamoto sensei that I will not give up. And there are variations on a theme that should not require change for the sake of interpretation. I am not in the state of mind to be a mini-version of the iai of other sensei. I once did that when I travelled across Japan visiting various dojo. When I returned to my dojo in Tokyo and began practicing iaido in front of Yamamoto sensei he asked me where I had learned what I was doing. I told him where I had picked up various tips and interpretations of the seitei iai. This was the only time I saw him angry. He told me that I did not understand the heart of budo. This painful experience which happened beyond my wanting and doing, beyond my expectation, revealed that there is a knowledge about budo practice which precedes a standardized set, which I think can sometimes get lost in the striving to do what everyone else is doing.

So I covet what has been given to me, what I worked for while I lived in Japan (1996-2000). I treasure my lineage and the fundamentals within that lineage. It is more important to me than the yearly shifts in standardized iaido that come about once a year to Canada. I am passionate about iaido and  I persevere in Iaido and I give to my students what has been given to me.

But this course is a fine balance between doing what is best for my students to progess in gradings, and sustain what Yamamoto sensei has given me. Last year while visiting he implored me to grade for the sake of my students. So I did. And I submitted to the weekend interpretations given us by the president of the iaido division of the ZNKR. I did my best to submit, despite not wanting to, despite not liking the idea that I was performing variations on themes, variations that arise every year with every new and ongoing interpretation. No wonder I failed.

Now, we must connect with the Canadian sensei more if we wish to progress in the CKF. We will. I will do this for my students, and for my iaido. As for grading in iaido for another attempt at 5th dan - I may - and I also may not. I'm not ready to fully submit as is necessarily required within standardization. Until I am, my responsibility is to balance this standard with my learning from Yamamoto sensei. Perhaps I will ultimately end up on a similar path to Nobushima san. Taylor sensei was right when he told me that my issue is not with sensei but with the idea of a standardized set. Perhaps in the near future I will share my concerns with standardization. For now, being like Nobushima san would be to persevere in iaido, and this is what I have done for 15 years, and hope to do for life, whether or not I grade.

Most would agree that Iaido is a means of self-understanding. I would like to think that this post reflects an ongoing commitment to that arduous, ongoing, ceaseless, often troubling task.

Chris